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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Lobbying

Greetings, godless sodomites:

Yes, it's been a while, and we have been hard at work here in the true remnant. In the middle of your life's journey, you may find yourself lost in a dark wood. That must really be awful for you. I, of course, am high on the Spirit.

I've been alerted to a terrifying poem called the Divine Comedy. Yes, DIVINE. What arrogance. Only God can decide what's divine. (He tells me what he thinks, so you can trust my interpretation.) Anyway, beyond this repugnant title, I am particularly disturbed by the fact that in this poem, not all of the godless sinners are in hell, where they belong. No, some of them are just OUTSIDE hell, in a vestibule of some type. I think you can see that it is time for some serious lobby work. (LMK-i-A's note: HAHAHAHAHA.)

This is particularly relevant now, as our governments consider providing the cervical-cancer vaccine to schoolchildren. As I think we all know, this vaccine changes children from virtuous angels into whores. I have already discussed the reasons why rubber gloves and safety equipment are leading us to hell. But now I think that compared with the destruction that vaccines have brought upon us, rubber gloves might just send people to Limbo instead. I am so horrified that I can barely type, but I will push through my anguish for the good of the saved. If one of the faithful were to be swayed, I don't know if I could stand the agony. Of course, I am secure in the knowledge that this agony would be much less than what you all are going to have to deal with in hell, so I'm sure I'll manage. But didn't you feel sorry for me? I sure did.

These radical doctors have held our society hostage for far too long. Did you know that they now vaccinate INFANTS? Yes! They do this against the child's will. Parents are subjected to scare tactics like threats that their kids won't be allowed into school. Meanwhile, so-called "public-health nurses" are injecting children with substances that will protect them against diseases like:

  • HPV, which causes cancer of the cervix and penis. PERVERTS! Anyone who has HPV probably deserves to get cancer. I definitely won't be vaccinating my kids against it. There's such a thing as God's punishment, you know.
  • Influenza, which causes respiratory complications and death. PERVERTS! Cover your mouth when you cough. Wash your hands a lot. See how easy that was? If you get the vaccine, you will think you are safe, and you will probably go around licking doorknobs.
  • Tetanus, which kills more than half of the people who get it. PERVERTS! What are you doing with cuts on your body, anyway? Cover your wounds. Then you won't have to worry about tetanus. God just told me that this is his punishment for people who step on rusty nails. It's GOD'S WILL, folks.
  • Meningitis, which causes kidney damage, paralysis, scars and death. PERVERTS! What, are you drinking other people's spit or something? Here in the true remnant, we never share water bottles. That's because we don't want to have to get this vaccine -- we are sure that if we got the shot, we would turn into whacked-out freaks with spit fetishes. We would probably think that we were safe, and we all know what happens when people think they're safe.
You disgust me. Not that this is anything new.

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