I'm not a troublemaker. I'm a bearer of bad news.

There's a difference, you see. A troublemaker makes trouble. A bearer of bad news just tells you about the trouble that already exists.

People at work get nervous when they see me coming. This is because I often say things like "Yeah, your project just self-destructed and took out an entire block, and there are body parts everywhere, and now you have to explain it to a panel of angry activists, and your interview with CBC is in two hours."

Okay, so I don't often say things EXACTLY like that. Usually we have to call CBC back within one hour.

The point is, even in this fictional worst-case scenario, I did not actually CAUSE any of the trouble.

Remember this the next time I wreck your day. It's better to get it all over at once.