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Sunday, October 05, 2008

"Even better than a Nick Fury movie"

Reader-submitted: Because I know you have your concerns about McCain/Palin and need an alternative to support. Thank god there is one in the US. And hey, they sell shirts...

Oh. My. Gawd.

Is it possible that we could have a president AND a vice president who are best known for reading from bad scripts and squinting uncomfortably? How exciting! Maybe David Caruso could be secretary of state!

This is the best news I have gotten all day. Granted, this came in on a day I was spammed with hate mail, but this would be amazing at any time. There's been so much negativity in the American campaign. Finally, a ticket that all citizens could unite behind! (I know my readers, at the very least, would be anxious to check out the Hoff's behind.)

Sarah Palin is right. The person we put in charge should have no idea how the system works. The ideal political leader should have no political experience other than the ability to make crowds scream. He or she should have strutted on stage in a bathing suit to stripper music, and should be mocked mercilessly on YouTube by the media elites. The problem with the McCain/Palin ticket is that only ONE of its members fits that description. Shatner/Hasselhoff, on the other hand, is the real deal. They are the true mavericks.

I can think of no better team to run the country. Putin would be terrified of Shatner's tendency to sway while standing. The Iranians would have no idea how to deal with a VP who takes off his shirt and runs in slow motion. He could eject terrorists from his vehicle with the push of a button. If negotiations got tough, he could lighten the mood with a few OOGA-CHAKAs.

Thank you, dear reader. You have just saved us all.

UPDATED 3:09 PM: Zach's take.

5 comments:

Vixen said...

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso as secretary of the State?

Good night, America!

Megan said...

When I published this, I wondered two things:
1) How long would it take to get a visit through Google?
2) What would that person be searching for?

12 minutes, "David Caruso".

The Internet is awesome. Vixen, you rock. Please stick around.

Curtis Groom said...

Hello Megan,
Get away from your hate mail for a few minutes and go and see the debate from SNL last night. Fey/Palin was brilliant.
www.saturdaynightlive.com
Take Care

Zach Bell said...

My god....Shatner as the Prez? Should Canadians be proud, horrified or should we simply brace ourselves for 12 hour melodramatic presidential addresses?

My...FELLOW...residents of.....(switch camera angles)...thisgreatland.

heh heh heh.

Karen said...

Hmmm....except for the tiny Constitutional detail that Shatner, as someone born in Canada (who may be a naturalized U.S. citizen, but that doesn't count in our holy land of immigrants) and not the U.S. is no more eligible for the Presidency than Arnold Schwarzennegger is. Hey, there's a ticket!