Change you can believe in

Entry #2 in the Being David Hasselhoff Contest is from Zach, who has given up on the two-party system:

American politics has failed to pique my interest as of late. what with
working all the time, whining constantly about getting blisters on my
palm (no, not from that) and suppressing the desire to throw dollops of
cheese whiz at Jack Layton from afar, American Politics hasn’t really
been on my mind as of late. Heck, it’s just too uninteresting to me.
So far as I see it, no matter which ticket is elected, (McPalin or
Obidna) not much in the US of A will change. Either way, I see
government intervention and the loss of liberty as being the common
theme for them. The nation just isn’t on a path of real change…unless
there’s a massive upset and I think I just saw the possibility coming.

Feast your eyes…on THIS!


oh...GOD YES!

Now I know what you’re thinking. I mean, if you can think clearly in
the middle of instant orgasm, you must be thinking “why wasn’t this
suggested earlier?” Obviously, this is the ticket of change. Shatner
has waaaay more intergalactic foreign relations experience than any of
the current presidential candidates and so could easily negotiate peace
or trade deals with far off planets. Since other leaders of nations
often act like they’re living on another world and have no idea what
their voters want, this should work out very well. Failing that, the
Hoff could easily infiltrate the rank and file of any government by
ripping off his shirt and instantly command the loyalty of all female
staffers and homosexuals.

Shatner’s military service aboard the Enterprise makes him well suited
for the role of commander in chief as well. Just look at this list of
awards and honours.

Palm Leaf of Axanar Peace Mission
Grankite Order of Tactics (Class of Excellence)
Prentares Ribbon of Commendation (Classes First and Second)
Starfleet Medal of Honor
Starfleet Silver Palm (with cluster)
Starfleet Citation for Conspicuous Gallantry
Karagite Order of Heroism

Yah…that’s right.

Perhaps the only draw back will be the 12 hour long, melodramatic
presidential addresses. “My fellow….residents of…(look into second
camera) thisgreatland!”

Also the whole bit about him being a Canadian…well come on. get over it
Americans. I think you can make an exception for a kick butt ticket
like this.


I could not agree more. Everyone, check out Zach's blog right now. He's one of the Saskbloggers: oddly enough, I read more blogs from Saskatchewan than any of the other provinces. Clearly, it is because of their immense talent and stunningly good taste.

Do you think you can do better?

You do?

Well, there's only one way to know for sure. You're going to have to prove it to us. E-mail your entry to dryas at theedge dot ca, post it in the comment box, or publish it to your own blog and send me the link. You know you want to. Besides, there are prizes at stake.

Previously on the Being David Hasselhoff Contest:
Steve Is David Hasselhoff
Being David Hasselhoff