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Thursday, January 10, 2008

"My only criticism is..."

Reader-submitted complaint: ...NOT ENOUGH HOFF. Your blog has been a little light on the Hoff lately.

Yes, I know. I've had a lot of reader-submitted items and haven't been able to get to the stuff that really matters. This will be rectified shortly.

Until then, I leave you with proof that God exists: He talks to David Hasselhoff.

Amid all the adversity, whenever I had problems, God always said 'Here's Chicago, here's a book, here's the No. 1 TV show, here's the No. 1 movie, here's a recording deal, here's two million downloads. I'm gonna make you the biggest star in the world, David, and I'm going to give you responsibility with that, and you can either take it or you can fuck it up.' I fucked it up, I've taken it.

He is so inspiring. David, I mean. Well, now that I think about it, so is God. How come I never get messages from heaven promising to make me the biggest star in the world? It must be because I'm not hot enough.


Karen said...

WTF is going on in that photo? Is he doing La Cage aux Folles or something? And if so, who keeps a lifesize cutout of himself in his dressing room (I assume that's his dressing room - he doesn't actually walk around in public dressed like that, does he? Did I miss another viral video again? Dammit).