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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Blogger Lived "Pretty Boring" Life; Dust Bunnies Found Near Body

The elusive blogger known only as "Megan" was found dead on Thursday. Sources say she was wearing red pajamas.

An anonymous friend of the family reveals exclusively what was found near the body: "There was dirt everywhere. It was like she hadn't swept the floor in, like, a week. And old magazines. My God, the old magazines! How did we miss the warning signs?"

How, indeed?

Unofficial police sources confirm that prescription drugs were found several yards from the body. They included liquid prednisolone, a steroid. Needles were also found in the house. Official police sources refused to comment.

"Obviously, she was injecting herself with steroids," said the family friend. "What a tragedy. I blame myself."

Stormy and secretive, Megan refused to divulge her last name -- or even the name of her town -- on her blog. She seemed uncomfortable in the presence of tabloid journalists. In retrospect, the signs of illegal drug use are all too clear.

Confused, her fans came together in the only place they could: Megan's blog. At press time, no Facebook groups had been set up.

"Perhaps the Being David Hasselhoff contest was her way of reaching out," mused a commenter known online as Mom73.

"She seemed unhappy lately," posted JustPeeChee. "If only we had known!"

TMZ.com is reporting that although it's unknown who found Megan's body, that person called Hilary Duff instead of 911.

Another source indicates that a rolled-up $5 bill was found in the kitchen, but there were no obvious signs of drug contamination.

"What kind of messed-up person injects herself with steroids and then snorts every trace of drugs off a bill?"

Young and talented, Megan was an award-winning writer who took pains to distinguish herself from other bloggers. Although she often wrote in her pajamas, she would also wear a sweater. She took glee in mocking her city council and the inability of some reporters to write good.

Megan's family refused to confirm her death.

"It's not real," insisted Megan's husband, known on her blog only as Steve. "Don't you losers have anything better to do?"

3 comments:

Karen said...

Touche.

Or, I've been dissed. I think. Maybe.

Or, you had too much time on your hands today.

Or, something.

And no, sadly, I had nothing better to do. RIP Megan. I too have a "pretty boring" life. But alas, no red pajamas. Yet.

My ranting has been rendered superfluous. Sniff.

The Administrator of Megan's Estate said...

Our client advises that you have definitely not been dissed and that your ranting is not superfluous. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Nicole said...

You scared me for a split second :)