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Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Being David Hasselhoff contest causes depression

Entry #10 in the Being David Hasselhoff contest comes from Torq. I missed this when it came in, but I have reviewed my guidelines and this definitely qualifies.

While I have no claim to meeting the Hoffster, I think that it is fair to say that after viewing these photographs I am a genuine Hoffstage. There can be no hope for me now that I have fallen captive to the peerless masculinity of the Hoffmeister, reeking as he does with pure primal sexual energy.

My only thought, my every thought, echoing endlessly in my mind,

How can I ever compare to him?


I admit it: this is a serious mental-health issue. People eventually realise that they can't be as sexy as David is, but accepting it can be difficult. In situations like this, it's best to ask for help. When the bottle's your only friend and you're constantly running in slow motion and scrutinizing your chest for hairs, your friendly local psychiatrist can give you medication to dull the pain.

You know what's at stake. You know what to do.

You may have missed:

Karan And Her Family Are David Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff Performs Miracles On Lyndsy's Brother
Holly Eats Like David Hasselhoff
Akeeyu Touches Someone Who Met David Hasselhoff
Stacey Knows David Hasselhoff
Michael Is David Hasselhoff
Glen Run Run, Runs So Slow
Steve Is David Hasselhoff
Ricki Meets David Hasselhoff
I Am David Hasselhoff

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I happened to meet The Hoff a number of years ago, when he was shooting a movie.

He would be off-camera, talking to his business manager and agents, in person and on the phone, like a mogul. Then when they were ready to shoot his scene, he would grab his script, memorize the line in seconds, walk on, shoot it, and then go back to the phones and meetings.

At one point I heard him seriously ask his business guy..."how many shows do we have on the air right now?"

He was The Big Shot, at that time.