Heads you win, tails I lose

Reader-submitted question: Why does your employer's legal counsel read your blog? And who are the Forces of Evil?

HAHAHAHAHA. Statistically, my friends are more likely to be current or former journalists, but I do have a number of readers with legal training. Of that group, some are lawyers who work for my employer. I occasionally joke about this, but no, our legal team does not have me under surveillance.

As far as I know.

Hmmm.

Lawyers are GREAT! I love lawyers! HA HA! Don't sue me!

As for the Forces of Evil, well, they've changed over time. I used to use "Forces of Evil" to refer to a very specific person, but over the last year or so I've started to use this phrase to mean anyone out there who's reading this blog to keep an eye on what I'm saying, but not in a nice way.

Yeah, that's a bit weird. There is one way to determine whether you personally are a Force of Evil:

• Do you read this blog, or do you "monitor" it?

The Forces of Evil "monitor" this blog. They hope that one day they'll be able to use this information against me. They are very disappointed that the most exciting thing on this site is the collection of grammar tips. Still, they persevere. One day they will catch me! Then I'll be sorry!

No, they don't scare me. They are basically a running joke. I know they're out there, but I'm not saying anything too dangerous, especially not now that I'm under surveillance by our legal division.