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Thursday, December 21, 2006

A shout-out to my peeps at the NYT

Boy, oh boy, is the New York Times ever "with it". You will NEVER guess what happened. Should I tell you or would you like to read the NYT's breathless story about it?

NBC -- the former home of David Brinkley -- has POSTED AN UNCENSORED CLIP ON ITS WEBSITE. I can hear your horrified gasps from here. This is an unprecedented move. I mean, the standard process is to let these things leak onto YouTube and then scream about copyright infringement. The most shocking thing about this is that this particular clip contains a word that NBC executives think is naughty. I probably wouldn't use this word around my grandmother, but I don't think I'm disturbing any of my readers by exclusively revealing that the word is part of the title of a book Michael owns. The rest of the title is "...and Jane". *nervous giggle*

This all started when Justin Timberlake hosted Saturday Night Live last weekend. He did a music video about WARNING WARNING SLIGHTLY OFFENSIVE WORD COMING UP dicks in boxes. Yeah, maybe you had to be there. Anyway, it was bleeped. It was late, and I had had a few too many hits from the Bailey's bottle. I thought it was funny.

A couple of days ago, NBC posted the uncensored version on its website, cackling over its own hipness.

Boy, these are exciting times -- and exciting Times. (Get it? GET IT???) The NYT is practically bursting with glee over this development. However, being a newspaper of record, they cannot come straight out and tell you that this is a video about dicks in boxes. Rather, it is "a holiday song about making a gift to their girlfriends of their male anatomy, which they appeared to have wrapped in boxes (strategically placed) and then topped with bows."

There are days when I wish the mainstream media would curl up and die. This might be one of those days. What is WRONG with these people? This just reeks of "I'm really cool! Look what I'm doing!" "No, I'm really cool! I'm reporting on what you're doing!"

A message to NBC: Thanks a lot for posting your pathetic uncensored clip. Not only is it less funny than the censored version, but it has removed any suspicion I might have had about whether they were actually saying WARNING WARNING SLIGHTLY MORE OFFENSIVE WORD COMING UP "cock in a box". When I worked in radio and we wanted to make something funny, we would bleep out a few words. Bleeps are funnier than swear words, because I get to think about what you might have said. Now that I know that you censored "dick", I don't think you're cool for posting the uncensored version. I think you're pathetic for censoring it at all.

A message to the NYT: Thanks a lot for reminding me how ingratiating NBC is. Now you have that pathetic-stink on you. This isn't news. Not even at Christmastime. And man, I didn't think a person could come up with that many words to describe the concept of "dick in a box" but you've really outdone yourself.