Seriously, I can't handle this any longer.

Rebecca Eckler has got religion. Yes! This might be too funny for words, but I'll try.

Ickler still doesn't know how to pour milk over cereal, so she was out for breakfast with her daughter the other day. Being a little girl, Rowan brought three stuffed animals, which of course was hideously embarrassing, so Eckler was trying to look in another direction. That's how she saw a blind woman who needed her help. Most normal people would have helped anyway, but you have to understand that this was a major breakthrough that ought to be trumpeted from the rooftops.

However, some things never change. Even though Rowan was RIGHT THERE, Eckler didn't bother to talk to her or even mention that there was a third person walking along with the blind woman for goodness knows how long.

Get it? Eckler is SUPER GOOD NOW. And as proof, she has decided that she wants to go to an ashram. Excuse me while I fall over, clutching my sides from the pain of laughing too hard.

I'm not sure she understands that an ashram is not an extra-quiet spa. The main benefit seems to be that there are no ashrams in Toronto, where her daughter lives. She wants to go to California, because there are no icky Indian people with germs there. Whoops! I meant that California's closer than India, so she could see Rowan more often. Wait, that can't be it, either. This is the woman who says goodbye to her child but kisses the dog.