Mother told me, yes she told me I'd meet girls like you

When I was pregnant, the father of my child went away a lot, and I fell in love with someone else and carried on an intense emotional affair with him. I figured this was OK because a few celebrities did the same thing. In public, I pretended that we were a couple. I wished that I could plan falling in love the way I planned my C-section, and I was really upset because I had gained 47 pounds. Also, I was going to have a baby, whatshername.

So I wrote about my emotional affair in the New York Times, because I am super classy.

Oh, wait. That wasn't me at all. That was Eckler.

UPDATED: Welcome, Technorati users. The full list of my Eckler posts is here.