Maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen well

Twelve things you probably didn't know about me:

1. I am an old-fashioned prude. This both horrifies me and gives me some comfort. It horrifies me because it's clearly uncontrollable and I don't want to pass it on to my son. It gives me comfort because it's been with me forever and I'm a sucker for anything that's been around for a while.
2. I like to hurt myself. I push needles under my fingernails until they bleed. The more it hurts, the more I poke. I'll rip my own skin out.
   
3. On a related note, I pull my own hair out one strand at a time. You know how you use scissors to curl the ends of ribbons? I use my fingernails to curl the plucked hairs this way.
   
4. I almost died after my appendix burst when I was eight.
   
5. Of all the people I hung out with in high school, only two (maybe three) of them were straight. I have no idea how this happened and don't know what to make of it, but it's far beyond the realm of statistical probability. No, don't point out that I was in the drama club, the vocal ensemble and le club francais. That doesn't explain it.
   
6. I live in terror that Michael will eat a peanut.
7. Steve thinks I have freaky baby toes because they are very short. I think his are too long.
8. Although a relative has suggested it, I have no intention of checking into a nunnery any time soon.
9. I write silly metered rhyming poetry (think Dr. Seuss).
10. The Goo Goo Dolls are my guilty pleasure. I am embarrassed just typing these words. No, I don't own any of their music or know any of the titles of their songs: this would require work, and I cannot allow myself to put any energy into this when I somehow feel that the whole thing ought to be done from deep inside a closet.
11. I cannot reconcile the last item with my shameless Michael W. Smith and REO Speedwagon collections.
12. I am passive-aggressive. It is easier for me to pretend to like someone than to address the problems I have with him or her. Every once in a while, I snap and become vicious. I pretend this doesn't actually happen.