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Thursday, June 28, 2007

The woes of Paris Hilton, as told to Larry King

1. She has claustrophobia, so she should NOT have to be in jail. It would have been way better for her to be at home even though the judge said she had to go to jail. She was locked in a cell for three and a half weeks and it was a horrible experience.

2. She feels really bad for her neighbours, because there were photographers at her house when she was brought back to court. Also, people know where she lives now!

3. She got a bad deal, because she did not know that she wasn't allowed to drive when her license was suspended. Next time she's drunk, she will definitely call a limo instead of driving. But she does not feel like she's a criminal.

4. She didn't want to cause a media circus when she checked into jail. That's why she went to an awards show right before she turned herself in.

5. People are spreading lies that she lost weight in jail. They make up crazy stories and she is baffled. She doesn't correct the lies because if she did, people would talk about it even more.

6. There is one thing she'd like to change about herself: She wants her voice to be lower. (Is this woman for real???)

7. She has ADD and takes medication for that. She has never taken other drugs, and Mothers Against Drunk Driving is wrong, wrong, wrong. She is a good example for children now because she's been to jail.

8. She does not take any money from her family. She works really hard. She is like any other girl and a good person.

9. She's always been religious but she wasn't able to bring her Bible into jail. She reads the Bible all the time, but doesn't have a favourite passage and could not think of any Bible stories.

10. Being strip-searched is the most embarrassing thing ever, because you have to get naked in front of someone you don't even know. (HAHAHAHAHAHA. I swear I'm not making this up.)


Paris Lover said...

Finally, a refreshing voice. I agree with all your points Paris has gotten the raw end of the stick heir.

OMG I love Paris. I would so marry her!