Only in Name of Town Withheld

MICHAEL: Mom, guess what? I'm an aboriginal.

ME: You're a -- what?

MICHAEL: An aboriginal. A person who doesn't eat meat.

ME: A vegetarian?

MICHAEL: Yeah, a vegetarian.

ME: Are you sure? Vegetarians don't eat hot dogs or hamburgers. They eat salad and vegetables.

MICHAEL: I don't like salad, but I'll eat lettuce.

ME: So I guess you're going to start eating eggs, then.

MICHAEL: No, I don't like eggs. Wait, is there meat in an Egg McMuffin?

ME: Yeah, there's ham in it. But that's OK. You could give me your ham and you could eat the egg.

MICHAEL: *looks distraught* Maybe I could just eat bread.