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Sunday, June 24, 2007

I Finally Figure Out Why I Hate Rebecca Eckler

It is becase I am jealos!!! Totally jealos, because she is a yummier mummy then me!!! I am like not really even a writer, and she is like totally a freelancer who gets tons off book deals and lots of love from the guy at Maclean's!!! Gaa!

I am doing my best though. Today I am having a relly rough day, because my son is not here, which is good because he is SO ANNOYING and always asks me to help him with his homework, but I found a tank top in my pajayma darwer and I put it on and I already feel a bit better. Although not as good as Eckler, who I call Ickler just because I am totally jealos that she looks better in tank tops then me. So now al I have to do is sit here in my tank top and listen to my favortie CD from The Pretenders, that I listen to because none of you fuckers is as cool as me!!! I am on the cutting edge, assholes!

So lik I said today is a really rough day. I totally had to sweep and mop the floor, and I even unloaded the dishwasher even though I was thinking that if I relaly want to be more like Ickler I need to get a housekeeper and a few nannies so I can just hang out at expnsive stores all day long and drink nonfat soylattes. It was such a huge drain that I totaly had to lie down when I was done but that didnt stop me from thinking that i am rellay a huge loser and NOT a good writer at all and that is another reason I am jealous. I probably could not get a book deal even if I sletp with the head of a pulbishing company!!! Gaa!

And another thing, I totally LOVE my child even though I sometimes secretly think he is a huge embarasment, like when he always pretends he is a Jedi even though everyone knows that is SO 2005. I cringe in horor and hope that nobody can tell we're together and that's why when we're at the playgroudn I let him run and play wile I do yoga over on the side in my tank top. I am not as good as Ickler though and that is another reason I am jelous. I bet if we were in the same yoga class she would be way way hotter than me and i would always be watching her and hoping that she would notice me and maybe we could go get a nonfat soy latte and we could be friends and maybe she would help me with my patehtic writing career that is totally not as good as hers.

UPDATED: Welcome, Technorati users. The full list of my Eckler posts is here.


Cin said...

Too. fricking. funny.

But I bet you had to cringe every time you misspelled a word in that post. ;-p

Mom said...

Soooo Funy!

Steve & Megan said...

I'm sure that if she stumbled across this blog, she would think this is completely serious and take it as proof that she's been right all along. She really thinks that the people who hate her are just jealous of her amazing literary skills.