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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Notice of Motion: Served and Filed June 5, 2007

NAME OF TOWN WITHHELD SUPREME COURT

MEGAN,
Plaintiff,

- against -

REBECCA ECKLER,
Defendant

Plaintiff moves for preliminary injunction in suit alleging that defendant would directly infringe and contribute to the infringement of her copyright in violation of the Copyright Act.

I, MEGAN, will apply to this court at NAME OF TOWN WITHHELD on June 5, 2007 for an order that would restrain you, REBECCA ECKLER, from further profiting from your book, Knocked Up, which is clearly plagiarized from my own life story. In addition, I seek general damages of SIX MILLION DOLLARS plus punitive damages to be determined by the court, plus legal fees. My affidavit is attached.

AFFIDAVIT

I, MEGAN, swear and affirm that, having read Defendant's latest column in Maclean's, my life bears unmistakable similarities to Defendant's book Knocked Up. These similarities are too numerous to have occurred by accident and thereby constitute a clear violation of the Copyright Act on Defendant's part.

Particulars:

  1. Defendant's book was released after my baby was born. I was pregnant first.
  2. Defendant claims she got "drunk and knocked up" at a party. I went drinking with a friend the night before I found out I was pregnant.
  3. Defendant's book features "one night of passion and the nine months that follow." It took me one night to get pregnant, and my son was born nine months later.
  4. Defendant claims she was an "up-and-coming newspaper reporter." I was an up-and-coming radio reporter. We both worked for major Canadian news organizations.
  5. Defendant has a best friend with screaming children. I knew lots of screaming children.
  6. Defendant took multiple pregnancy tests. I took multiple pregnancy tests.
  7. Defendant's fiance is Canadian. My husband is Canadian.
  8. Defendant has heard a joke about sex during pregnancy. My husband was concerned about sex during pregnancy in a way that was uncannily close to the joke Defendant heard.
  9. Defendant worried about telling her boss that she was pregnant. So did I.
  10. Defendant headed directly to the bookstore after finding out she was pregnant. There was no bookstore in the small Arctic town I lived in, but I headed directly to the library after finding out I was pregnant.
  11. Defendant claims that men are bored in obstetricians' waiting rooms. I noticed the same thing.
  12. Defendant joked about jumping on trampolines while pregnant. I joked about driving extra hard over the bumps in the permafrost while pregnant.
  13. Defendant's book cover illustration shows a martini glass and a soother. I own martini glasses and I used a soother with my son.
  14. Defendant's book is called Knocked Up. I once joked that my husband had "knocked me up".

Plaintiff reserves the right to modify this affidavit if anyone who has read Defendant's book reports additional similarities with her own life. Plaintiff has no intention of reading Defendant's book unless she finds it in the bargain bin at the Church of Satan, which would at least give her some comfort that her money would be contributing to a better cause than Defendant's lipstick collection.

Sworn and affirmed by

MEGAN

at

NAME OF TOWN WITHHELD

UPDATED: Welcome, Technorati users. The full list of my Eckler posts is here.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do what I did with Leah McLaren's book... get it out of the library, read it, loathe it, and then purge your house of the monstrosity. Icky book is on reserve for me now. I plan on loathing it more than McLaren's.