Sorry

It turns out that people are very sensitive about me picking on poor, defenseless Canadian Thanksgiving. So far, the criticisms have broken down into the following general areas:

1. I am a jerk.

2. Don't I know that in the States, people have to buy their own medical insurance?

3. Boy, am I ever a jerk.

4. Why don't I just shut up?

OK, guys. Time to calm down. Take a few deep breaths. Think about something serene, like Canada's peacekeeping missions. Or the tax rate - how many social programs could be delivered with that money the government takes out of your paycheque? Yes, that should make you feel better. I myself am floating on a cloud from the sheer joy of letting the government decide the best way to spend my money.

Now that we are all nice and calm and feeling good about ourselves, let me just say that I am "very sorry" for any pain and suffering you may have experienced in the last eight hours as a result of my callousness. Let me repeat that: "very sorry". I also owe an apology to Martin Frobisher, the first Canadian to celebrate Thanksgiving. I'm "very sorry", Martin. Here, have some of my taxes. That should make us all feel better.