NOTE TO NEWCOMERS AND HUMOUR-IMPAIRED: The Uriel personality is a joke. You can read more here.
Greetings, those who will suffer the punishment of eternal fire:
I am continually disgusted by your perversions and immorality. They are constant fodder for my prayers, which I offer in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men (the more the merrier, I always say).
If I could shut myself off from your hedonistic ways, I certainly would. As that's not possible, I have contented myself with establishing holy counterparts to your wicked, wicked lifestyle. I spit on you.
My new favourite website is an alternative to YouTube. No, I will not provide a link. This is a holy blog. As we all know, YouTube contains many offensive videos. The government should have taken action against this site long ago -- it promotes immorality and devil worship. They will be punished for their sins seven times over, and I will get to watch. Frankly, I can't wait.
The alternative to YouTube is GodTube. It includes videos that prove the existence of God, like this one, which is labelled on the site as "The Atheist's Nightmare":
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude
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8 comments:
I am sorry, I am confused. A religion which preaches tolerance and acceptance is now telling people that there is a right and wrong way or cool and uncool way to belong to the faith? I don't understand?!
Please Uriel... explain this seeming hypocrisy to me.
It's simple.
When you know the mind of God, you can automatically assume that everything you think is right. It's really very handy, especially during arguments.
Sigh.... and too cool for school infects Christendom again. And the reformation goes on and on and on and.....
You aren't the only one who's confused, Amy. (And just cause some dudes made an ad doesn't mean the religion teaches this. That's a logical fallacy, after all.)
Admit it: Christ-followers are cool and Christians are losers. Fortunately, it's easy to tell us apart. The Christ-followers are the ones who wear baggy jeans, T-shirts and jPods. Christians wear suits and Coke-bottle glasses. Also, they're always carrying Bibles around. What losers!
This Internet thing is turning out to be a good way to evangelize the masses. They are already coming to my blog in swarms, ripe for conversion. You will sit in awe of my Commission just before you are thrown into the lake of fire. Burn, baby, burn.
Yes, I was just about to go sacrifice a few firstborn to the heathen gods when I picked up a banana. Boy, am I glad the Christ-followers from GodTube showed me the evil of my ways. My Jpod is already in the mail!
LMAO -- the banana thing is sooooo weird, I don't even know where to start!
But now I feel like eating a banana!
I always thought that the coconut evolved, but now we have certain proof. Really, what more do you need? It's not shaped for your mouth at all, and it's not easy to peel!
Clearly, this is NOT a product of creation. There must not be a God after all.
*chuckles* I am not sure if I am more horrified by the videos or by the fact that this is not the first time that I have seen all of them! I was thinking about posting that first one to my blog to talk about assumptive reasoning and how you can hurt a good argument by insulting its intelligence. I am inclined to distrust anyone who tells me that in order to present a truth to someone I must first bypass their intelligence. Clearly Uriel got there first.
The whole "Christian" Vs. "Christ-Follower" thing is enough to drive anyone nuts. The really funny thing is that while they are trying to say is that it doesn't matter how you worship, or what you wear, as long as your are worshipping, they have gone ahead and made it clear that if you do it in a suit and tie you are a doofus.
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