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Sunday, April 01, 2007

Stigmata

Yeah, I'm a doofus.

I have these new shoes. They have ginormous heels that bring me close to the bottom end of the normal scale for midgets. Heels are good. New shoes are good.

Well, I have to clarify that a bit: New shoes are good after they've been broken in. Before that time, they are just awful. Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel! I will scatter them in Jacob and disperse them in -- wait, I was so upset that I almost spontaneously changed personalities. The point is, new shoes are weapons of violence.

My feet are creased with ribbons of raw flesh and dotted with blisters. It is really terrible to behold.

And the worst part is that this is all my own fault. What kind of moron wears new shoes to the mall? Yeah, I'm definitely one of the dumbest people I know, and that is saying a LOT.

7 comments:

Glen said...

Suck it up! There is no beauty without pain. As long as you look fabulous in the shoes, they are worth it.

Steve said...

I know Meg...why don;t you go to The Orlando Fashion Mall for 5 hours and walk around in those shoes.

S
In Edmonton after a 4 hour delay in Toronto (mechanical...emergency door would not open) Oh, looks like a 40min delay to Yellowknife ahhhhhh

Miss Lyndsy said...

I think every woman goes through this. How can they not with all of the horrid shoes in this world? I personally spent several afternoons finding the right shoes for the wedding rehearsal and dinner. Matching was the least of my problems—they also had to be comfortable (which is entirely relative when it comes to heels). Ended up learning that Macy's doesn't generally carry any size below a seven (I'm a 6 1/2). Then I had to return what I thought was the perfect pair: they ended up having a defect. Blah! But I now have a cute, comfortable pair.

Good luck!

The Blueberry Princess said...

I spent a lot more time searching for the perfect bridesmaid shoes than I did for my own. Mine aren't really fancy, but they're fairly comfy and I figure no one will see them anyway. I was chatting with your mother online when she mentioned a pair of shoes that she liked. They were the ones I had picked! So I guess they must look alright!

The Capitalist said...

Wait a second, Mom mentioned the shoes that happened to be the ones you chose... And this makes you think you've made the right choice? RETURN THEM!!!

The Blueberry Princess said...

I figure if they're so comfortable looking that your mother would wear them, I should be in good shape. I have a long dress. Who, other than Matt when he takes off my garter, will actually see my shoes? Hmm, Matt is reading this over my shoulder and says that I need a comma after "Matt". I say that I don't. He also says that that period belongs inside the quotation marks. He's being a bully. Maybe I WON'T let him take off my garter!

Steve & Megan said...

The proper punctuation would be:

1. "Who, other than Matt when he takes off my garter, will see my shoes?"

You can pull "other than Matt when he takes off my garter" out of the sentence and it will still make sense. Matt is wrong.

2. In the US: "Matt is reading this over my shoulder and says that I need a comma after 'Matt.'"
In Commonwealth countries like Canada: "Matt is reading this over my shoulder and says that I need a comma after 'Matt'."

You are both sort of right. I follow Canadian style.

In case anyone was keeping score:
Matt: 0.5
Sarah: 1.5