Freaked-Out Feet

I want you to imagine that you are the parent of a six-year-old. Of course, you trust the MPAA implicitly (you know this because the MPAA tells you so). This means that a G-rated movie should definitely be OK for your kid.

But the rating's not the only thing you rely on. You also watch movie trailers to give you a sense of what the movie's about. Here's the version I saw. Go ahead and click the link. It will only take 66 seconds, and I'll still be here when it's over.



Looks like a happy movie, right? Happy Feet? Can't go wrong, right?

WRONG.

Michael and I went to see this movie last night with a friend and her 2-year-old and 5-year-old. Now, bear in mind that Michael watches lightsaber battles without flinching. He spent this movie on my lap, with his face buried in my shoulder for half of it. I was reminded of the time my mom took me to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I am not sure which was worse:

1. The little penguin's father, who tells him that he's not good enough because he can't sing.

2. The penguin Sanhedrin who run him out of town the first time.

3. His girlfriend, who denies him three times before a cock cr...oh wait, wrong story. That should be "walks out on him three times before the middle of the movie".

4. The vultures, sharks, seals, humans and other penguins, all of whom try to kill him with varying degrees of success.

5. The penguin Sanhedrin who run him out of town the second time.

The little penguin spends most of the movie off by himself, having been rejected by just about everyone else. It is pretty depressing, especially when they leave him all alone on an ice floe. The clip above is from the very end of the movie, when the tide suddenly turns and everyone is happy.

And here's the most confusing part: the penguins are happy because the humans decided to stop overfishing after they saw the little penguin dancing in a zoo. I agree that this does not make sense. No member of our species would spontaneously decide to stop overfishing because of a dancing penguin. There are millions of caribou in Alaska and this has not stopped people from wanting to drill for oil in the wildlife refuge.

This might be a good movie for a kid who is old enough to think that cartoons are just for babies. So I'm pressed to imagine who the target audience for this movie could be.