Taking the "sex" out of "asexual"

This is a variation on something a friend of mine says. A friend who is no longer close enough for me to poke at or argue with. *sigh* Everyone is leaving me.

Last night, during an argument over whether it is OK to eat lots of candy, Michael made what he clearly considered to be the ultimate threat: If I did not give him candy, he would put his hands in his pants. He was prepared to put his hands all the way past his underwear, he informed us.

I tried not to laugh. My dad (an expert in comma usage and human relationships) pointed out that this is a peek into the way my son thinks my mind works. Sadly, this is probably true.

I am a prude. An old-fashioned prude. My aunt asked me to expand on this once, and I discovered that I was so prudish that I was unable to even TYPE what I meant. I have my own version of Catholic guilt going on. I don't recall being formally indoctrinated when I was younger, but I clearly picked it up somewhere. Heck, that's why I got married when I was 20. (Several of my friends did the same thing. They are now divorced.)

I do have my theories about how this happened, but at this point they are just theories. I was recently informed that theories like evolution are not real, they are just suggestions. I'm sure that my own theories would fall into the same category.

In any case, at this point we are into harm reduction. I am not sure how to keep my son from turning out the same way. Obviously he has already picked up on something I was not aware I was projecting. This terrifies me. It is just a few steps from here to Bible stories that end with "Do you know what their punishment was?".