Family photos

Someone asked why there aren't more pictures on the blog of Steve growing up.

Sadly, there is a simple explanation: Nobody has e-mailed me any pictures of Steve growing up. These photos don't appear out of thin air. Someone has to send them to me.

I'm going to try and fix the situation. This is going to be a remedy over time, because there is a lot of work that goes into this.



This is my little family. Michael's hair is shorter than it used to be, and mine is longer than it used to be.


This is my family. Left to right:

Dad: My father's a priest. You can't see the cross around his neck because the guitar hides it, but trust me, it's there. Or just look in the comments section anywhere on this blog.

Mom: I don't remember my mom being a blonde when I was growing up, but I guess as you get older you start to look more like your kids.

Nate: My brother's now my closest relative geographically. When we were growing up, he was also my closest friend at times. (Matt was too young to play with.)

Michelle: Michelle is Nate's girlfriend and is a nurse (hence the scrubs). Michael is secretly in love with her.

Matt: My brother's making his way through the real world these days. He's getting married next year to:

Sarah: I imagine Sarah as a sweet, long-suffering woman who is trying really hard to put up with Matt. She is wearing a gas mask for two reasons: 1) Like all men except maybe Bill Clinton and Al Franken, my brother oppresses women. He might as well put her in a burqa. He's forcing her - forcing her, I say! - to live in a cold climate that's bad for the lungs. 2) I've never met her and have no idea what she looks like. Would it kill people to send me a photo?

Ben: Ben is an engineering student, so he's always studying. When he's not studying, he's trying to ignore the craziness going on all around him.

Me: You already know everything there is to know about me.

Okay, so that's my family. On to Steve's family:


Steve: Yes, Steve exists. He's just not as into blogging as I am.

Byron: This shirt is all wrong on Steve's dad, but it's the closest thing to a lumberjack shirt I could find.

Mona: Steve's mom is a sweetheart.

Sean: Like my brothers, Steve's brothers are notable for their ability to find women who are way too good for them, and then somehow convince/bribe/drug them to stick around. Not that Sean and David aren't great guys. I'm just saying that they are very lucky in love. They might have ended up with a cranky bitch like me.

Adrienne: I've never met Adrienne but by all accounts she is a sweetheart.

David: This is Steve's youngest brother.

Erica: David's girlfriend used to be in the Sunday-school class Steve taught. She is sweet, shy and quiet. Basically, she is the opposite of David.

So that's Steve's family. On to my extended family. This is going to take a while, and I am very tired from creating all of these little people. I realize that there are two sides to my family and two sides to Steve's. I had to start somewhere, so I've started with my dad's side. I promise to get to both sides of Steve's family and the other side of mine when I have time to get all of the little people together.


Grampy Don: This venerable old man is the patriarch of my family. That's a big word, but I think it applies to my grandfather quite nicely.

Grammy Hazel: My grandmother died six and a half years ago, but when she was alive, she looked a lot like this. Her name was Betty, but my brothers and I all called her Grammy Hazel. I will tell this story some other time.

Uncle Bruce: My dad's oldest brother is a poet and a lover of words. Not a silly writer like me: a real poet who thinks deep thoughts in all seriousness. The last time I saw him, he was carrying a notebook stuck into the top of his pants so he could write down all literary ideas as soon as they came to him.

Uncle Gary: I honestly do not know what my uncle is doing these days. I do remember that he used to work for a lumber company that constantly ran ads on our local TV station, and that he was IN these ads, so we always watched them: "It's not ham and eggs, or ham and cheese. It's Hammond Lumber!"

Pat: I don't know my uncle's fiancee very well, except that she makes my uncle happy and so I am happy for both of them. It is odd but true that I know next to nothing about a person who has been in our lives for 15 years.

Dad and Mom: You've already met these two up above.

Uncle Rick: My uncle Rick has lived thousands of miles away from me for as long as I can remember. When I was little, he lived in Malaysia or some place on the other side of the world. (Thailand? Burma?) He's now settled down with a wife and kids.

Aunt Tracey: I can't imagine what it would be like to live with my slave-driving uncle, but somehow she puts up with him.

Ryan: My cousin and his younger siblings on the next line are basically strangers to me, since I've never met them. I have no idea what they look like, so I've made a guess. Perhaps someone can enlighten me as to whether I've come close or not.

Katy and Kohlton: I think her name is Katy. I KNOW it's Kohlton. It's one of those names that sticks in your head.

Justin: The last time I saw my cousin Justin, he was wearing a hat just like this. He's now about a foot taller than me. Admittedly, that's not hard to do (I am 5'2").

Jake: My cousin Jake should be a model for a company that sells relaxation products. He always looks amazingly mellow. I'm reliably informed that he writes poetry that is much more meaningful than mine. Admittedly, that's not hard to do.

Aunt Sharon: My aunt and my uncle Gary got divorced about 15 years ago, but she is still most definitely my Auntie. She's been a librarian for as long as I can remember.

This has been more work than I anticipated when I started this project. I promise to finish it when I have time. Don't worry, I'll get to Steve's family.