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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Hey! I'M qualified to be VP!

Foreign policy:

I am married to a foreign citizen, and my child is a foreign citizen. Also, I live closer to Russia than 99.99% of Americans. (I heard that qualified someone else to be the vice-presidential nominee.)

Education:

Coincidentally, I ALSO have a bachelor's degree in journalism, just like Ms. Palin! Mine's an honours degree, though. I think that might give me an edge.

Diversity:

I'm pretty white, but I live in a part of the world with eleven official languages. Also, I have gay friends, just like Ms. Palin.

Pork-barreling:

I was against the "bridge to nowhere", too.

Energy policy:


I know a LOT about drilling in the Arctic, too.

Experience:

I have over FIVE YEARS of experience in government at the level equivalent to the state level. That's about three times as much as Ms. Palin has.

I first served in my state legislature 22 years ago. OK, so I was eight and I was serving as an honorary page, but still, if we can say that someone "first ran for office in 1992" and it was the town council, I think this should count.

I wrote to Senator Snowe when I was in my early teens to ask what it was like to be a woman in politics. (She actually wrote back, and she sent me a glossy autographed photo.) My interest in higher office was clear at a young age.

Health care:

I get sick sometimes. So do my family members. I UNDERSTAND. I don't really need a platform, do I?

Personal attributes:

I am a U.S. citizen. It says so on my passport.

I have one child, so I CHOSE to have him. Remember that, everyone. In case you forget, I'm going to repeat it a few times, though. Speaking of choices, I am really proud when other people make choices that are the only ones I think they should be allowed to have in the first place.

I don't know ANY lobbyists, so clearly none of them are buying me off. I can't even get anyone to buy me lunch. And I'm definitely not from Washington.

Now, questioning my qualifications is demeaning to women. Put me on the ticket right now. And if you don't vote for me, it's because you're sexist. Actually, as I reread this, it appears that I am actually MORE qualified for the job than Ms. Palin is.

I have been waiting to elect John McCain president for eight years. This was not how I wanted it to be.

6 comments:

Karen said...

YOU, my dear, are a Republican I could bring myself to vote for.

Hmmm...no lightning strike, doesn't look like I've gone straight to Hell, unless Hell is my home office...Huh. Funny, that. I thought there'd be a...bigger...reaction.

I was going to blog about Ms. Palin, but after a long, long weekend of media overload, I just can't bring myself to care enough to even try to top your effort.

Clearly, if Hillary's female supporters don't support Ms. Palin, just because she's female too, then they must be defective women who don't have a brain in their pretty little heads. Because really, who doesn't want a hockey mom from the middle of nowhere on the verge of being President? It's the American dream come to life!

Torq said...

Hey Sis, you have MY vote! In fact, I think you would do a pretty good job as president. Maybe then we could do something about the atrocious state of the English language as it is taught in American schools!

Matt, Kara and Hunter said...

What?? I thought it was taboo for Republicans to have gay friends!!

Megan said...

I have always had gay friends. Statistically, my male friends are much more likely to be gay than straight.

Apparently my "type" is "gay man". This is a problem, because I am not one myself, and I'm told that it's not the sort of thing where you can mix and match.

Anonymous said...

I think it is okay to be Republican and have gay friends, as long as they don't actually tell you they're gay and you don't ask too many questions about why they have so many Judy Garland records. Also, I've heard it's okay to be a Republican AND BE gay, so long as you only engage in secret trysts with interns.

But what do I know? I'm Canadian.

Cindy said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, this made my day.

Seriously, though, anyone who thinks female Palin supporters are anywhere near the same demographic as female Clinton supporters needs their head examined.

I'm pro-life, and I would still vote for Obama (and Karen, I'm waiting for the lightening strike on my head, too, lol).

That being said, I have a lot of respect for Ms. Palin. Just not enough to think she has enough experience or credentials to be VP.

She should have done this after two terms as governor.