I'm looking at you

Okay, so I'm not looking at you. I'm looking at myself. My aging self. I am getting old, and I don't like it at all.

I noticed my first forehead wrinkle the other day.

Can you see it? I'm not sure you can. It's there, even if it's hiding under my hair.

Grimacing at myself in the mirror, I discovered that the wrinkle becomes deeper with certain facial expressions:

• Anger
• Irritation
  
• Shock
• Horror
• Frustration
• Confusion
• Exasperation
• Righteous indignation

This is a problem, because my typical day goes something like this:

1. Phone rings. Someone shrieks that there is a problem -- a big problem! EVERYBODY PANIC.
   
   
2. I ask the person to explain. The explanation shows that there really isn't a problem except in the person's head.
   
   
3. I explain that there really isn't a problem.
   
   
4. The person is unconvinced. EVERYBODY PANIC.
   
   
5. I spend a few hours researching the huge problem. The person calls or e-mails every 20 minutes, demanding an update. EVERYBODY PANIC. Usually, there is very little to research because, as I might have mentioned earlier, it isn't actually a problem.
   
   
6. I get a few curse words out of my system before calling the person and presenting Actual Proof that there isn't a problem, or if there is, it is an entirely different problem than the person would like it to be.
   
   
7. Deep breath.
   
   
8. Repeat steps 1-7.

There is absolutely no chance this wrinkle will go away. It is probably getting deeper by the hour. I better make myself comfortable and settle in for the long haul.