What a boob

Today's episode of Little Miss Know-it-All: We've heard it all before.

You would think that by now, store owners would be smart enough to just shut up about not liking breastfeeding. But apparently not.

The story's familiar: A woman is either asked to stop breastfeeding or is shuffled off into a corner. The next day, she shows up with dozens of her closest co-lactationists. (No, that's not really a word.) News spreads and the store looks stupid. Meanwhile, idiots come out of the woodwork to proclaim that breastfeeding is disgusting, or, alternatively, totally fine as long as women are discreet about it.

I am opposed to discreet breastfeeding, mostly because the only people who talk about it are total jerks.

"As long as it's discreet" is code for "as long as I don't know it's happening". People who say this usually mean one or more of the following things:

• They should never be exposed to a baby who is beginning or ending a meal.
• They should never be able to tell that the baby is eating at all. Ideally, they should not be able to tell that the baby even exists.
• Babies should have blankets fastened securely over their heads while they eat.
  
• Babies should eat in the public bathroom. (This is one of my favourites.)
• Anything other than this is basically the same thing as peeing in public.

The alternative to breastfeeding is a screaming, hungry baby. I know which is more disruptive.