I was going to post "Mari-Mac", but then I remembered that you thought it was dirty. I definitely would not want to offend your delicate sensibilities. That sort of vulgarity is beneath me.
This sweet, traditional song about a young man who falls in love with a mermaid is probably much closer to your taste. Considering the Princess's stated career goal, this video is probably as close to perfect as I am going to get today.
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