Editors at the Paper of Record: Please use some discretion with Leah McLaren's columns. You cannot possibly be contractually obligated to print this garbage.
Leah now informs us that she only SEEMS like a normal person. The truth is that she is a weirdo.
Even before I read the column, I knew this was going to involve a comparison to a celebrity, and Leah does not disappoint. She imagines herself to be quirky and adorable, just like a character Jennifer Aniston played years ago!
- When she was 12, she tried to get people at summer camp to call her Jordan, but they wouldn't go along with it. They thought she was ridiculous. (What a shock.)
- She wanted to find a lost ferret. Not because she likes ferrets, but because she thinks other people will think she's eccentric if she has one. It apparently does not occur to her that stealing someone's pet is not eccentric behaviour that would make her look quirky and adorable. Rather, it is the sort of self-absorbed behaviour I already expect from her.
- Who needs a third example? Not Leah/Jordan!
Here's something Leah would discover with even the slightest bit of critical thought: Her headline is a lie. She is not a weirdo trapped inside a regular life. She is a boring person trapped inside a pathetic world she has built for herself.
Here's a column idea for you, Leah: Why do you still, in your thirties, want people to think you haven't changed since you were twelve?