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Monday, August 11, 2008


Editors at the Paper of Record: Please use some discretion with Leah McLaren's columns. You cannot possibly be contractually obligated to print this garbage.

Leah now informs us that she only SEEMS like a normal person. The truth is that she is a weirdo.

I see.

Even before I read the column, I knew this was going to involve a comparison to a celebrity, and Leah does not disappoint. She imagines herself to be quirky and adorable, just like a character Jennifer Aniston played years ago!

The proof:

  • When she was 12, she tried to get people at summer camp to call her Jordan, but they wouldn't go along with it. They thought she was ridiculous. (What a shock.)
  • She wanted to find a lost ferret. Not because she likes ferrets, but because she thinks other people will think she's eccentric if she has one. It apparently does not occur to her that stealing someone's pet is not eccentric behaviour that would make her look quirky and adorable. Rather, it is the sort of self-absorbed behaviour I already expect from her.
  • Who needs a third example? Not Leah/Jordan!
I have no idea why the Paper of Record is publishing this.

Here's something Leah would discover with even the slightest bit of critical thought: Her headline is a lie. She is not a weirdo trapped inside a regular life. She is a boring person trapped inside a pathetic world she has built for herself.

Here's a column idea for you, Leah: Why do you still, in your thirties, want people to think you haven't changed since you were twelve?


Zach Bell said...

It's always nice to read through a newspaper, listen to the radio or watch a news broadcast and think you're watching something that is designed to inform you. It's just a warm fuzzy feeling to think that you are really being informed about things that are important to you.

Every so often though, you're yanked back into the cold hard reality that what you're reading is all thanks to selling ad space. And that's what it's all about in the end. *sigh*

It would be awesome to encounter some news delivery source that doesn't feed us pablem all the time.

shaund said...

Umm, did she publish some guy's name and telephone number in a national newspaper (and on-line)? Never mind an editorial lack of discretion vis a vis content, that's got to be some kind of privacy violation.