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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Stop the presses!

Today’s episode of Little Miss Know-it-All: Duuuuhhhhh.

It is GREAT to have Mass Media around. Today’s top Canadian health story is from Victoria. Go ahead and read it. I’ll still be here.

Everyone back? Good.

Who woulda thunk that people who smoke crack are putting themselves at risk of contracting hepatitis C? I mean, when it comes to health activities, smoking crack is second only to jogging. This is big news. BIG news. Put it on the front page: everyone needs to know about this alarming threat to public health. Otherwise, nobody will know about this problem.

WHY didn't anyone see this before? It is really great that we have Mass Media to tell us about these things.

A few health tips from tomorrow’s paper:

1. When you shoot yourself in the head, move slowly and put the gun to your temple. You could strain your arm if you move too quickly or try to shoot yourself in the back of your head.

2. When you jump ice clumpers, always wear a scarf. Otherwise, your neck could get cold.

3. If you wrestle polar bears, be sure to brush your teeth first. Gingivitis affects two out of three adults.

3 comments:

Ben Holsapple said...

Wait...how do you get a statistic like 1 in 22 when you're testing 51 pipes? It's either 1 in 51 or 1 in 25.5, there is no in between.

Megan said...

Duh, Ben. By smoking crack, of course.

Cin said...

Um, what disease can you NOT catch while smoking crack, I ask you?