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Friday, December 21, 2007

I'm calling my lawyer

Reader-submitted complaint: Steve's hairstyle is not gay. I've seen lots of straight people with hair like that. You are contributing to stereotypes and I don't like it. Gay men are too hip to have hair like that, for starters.

Oh, dear. Is it just me, or are there a lot of complaints these days?

I have annoyed my gay readers. I personally am not the sort to advertise this sort of thing (in the newspaper, for example), so please allow me to clarify that anyone who is brave enough to do so has my respect. Further, I would not want to offend anyone. That would be un-Canadian of me, and it is my duty to rectify the situation. Here goes:

  • Hair is not gay, people are. It was wrong for me to suggest that anyone with hair like Steve's must be gay. It was also wrong for Steve to suggest this.
  • The main advantage of being gay is not the ability to French-kiss naked strangers during parades. I am reliably informed that the main advantage of being gay is the ability to have sex with other men.
  • Gilmore Girls is probably a really good show.
  • I'm totally serious about liking Annie Lennox.
I think that covers it.

I am apparently incapable of being good friends with straight men. I don't understand this at all, but I've had to accept that it's true. Over the past fifteen years, most of my really good male friends have been gay.

ARE gay. Man, I'm definitely getting another complaint, aren't I? I can't do anything right.


EduFAIRY said...

I'm sorry, but I don;t think Steve needs to apologize here, because if someone is brainwashed into thinking that his hair style is 'gay' by his wife's actions, like standing at the airport luggage area and thinking 'God he's trying to tell me he's gay' and then when they are home the wife constantly is saying 'why did you cut your hair like that... it is gay'.
I think Steve was brainwashed into making those statements!
I know you're not gay.

Torq said...

Heh, I actually just had a conversation about what stereotypes really are and what it means that we have stereotypes at all. I am sorry to all the people who love to jump on the anti-stereotyping bandwagon but this process is natural and highly useful in our everyday lives. For example if I had been unable to tell the difference between the group of guys who always beat me up after school and my friends, I might not be here to spout wisdom today.

It is only when we refuse to consider that something might have been incorrectly categorized that stereotypes are really "bad."

Megan said...

Matt, I thought those guys were your friends.

Anonymous said...

Very insightful, Matt. I have to say, there are quite a few stereotypes that are largely true. No doubt, there are exceptions to the rules, and I love it when I find an exception.