Would the mainstream media curl up and die already???

Today's episode of Little Miss Know-it-All: How to be really super "with it" and "groovy".

God, I love it when reporters discover the Internet. It's not just Name of Paper Withheld anymore. Now the CBC's in on the game, and they are SO COOL. As Nancy Wilson assures us in this clip, you're only a "yu-rell" away from being part of an important civics experiment.

You will never guess what the important experiment is, but go ahead and try.

Nope, they're not providing better access to local, provincial or national government.

Nope, they're not throwing open the door to exciting new rights for minorities or women.

The CBC has -- wait for it -- set up a Facebook page. Yes. Pick yourself up off the floor. It gets better. The CBC has discovered Web 2.0, and they're planning to use it to get story ideas. Interesting Facebook denizens will be interviewed on radio and TV. Shout it from the rooftops, CBC! This is a big step. Next thing you know, you'll be able to get rid of reporters entirely and just turn your entire news organization over to YouTube. Wait, am I getting cynical?

Until the CBC set on its latest campaign to debase itself as much as possible, I didn't think I could simultaneously respect an organization for its mandate and employees' efforts while despising its management and public face. Now I see that I can definitely do this. Man, they make me sick.

Not that this is a bad idea; it's an OK idea. But CBC doesn't seem to understand how to communicate to what people in my business call "target audiences". This sounds like an intimidating phrase, but it really just means that you want to say different things to different people.

Here's an example: Let's say that you are putting up a Facebook page. You'll have two audiences: CBC management and CBC viewers. You are going to want to say different things to these people. Specifically, you'll want to say something like this:

Management:

• This is an exciting opportunity to break down the stovepipes and contribute to Canadian discourse.
• There will be no overhead costs. We should hire a contract (this word is crucial) employee to coordinate the program.
• Regular Facebook guests could be featured on current-affairs programming in the regions. These features would take five to seven minutes and would be available weekly.
  
• This will bring new voices to the CBC.
• We need to take control of this exciting new medium in an effort to bring new viewers to our shows.
• This page could create buzz and get people talking about the CBC.
  

Viewers:

• Hey, check out our Facebook page.

Was that hard???