Another dream is dead

It's time for me to face the facts. Steve and I will never be able to do The Amazing Race.

You see, we thought it might be a fun adventure. A chance to do exciting things, see the world, and be the Arctic Romber, if you will. But this will never happen.

And why, you ask? It's because only one of us knows how to read a map or follow street signs.

I don't think I need to go into much detail about which one of us it is. That would just be silly. It would really be ridiculous of me to keep bringing it up over and over again. Even though following arrows is clearly not a specialized skill, I shouldn't have to talk about it all the time. I mean, what would be the point of that? It would be mean-spirited of me to constantly bring the conversation around to the same topic, especially when I think it's important to protect the privacy of those with map-reading challenges.

And when the person who knows how to read the map is able to successfully navigate through an unfamiliar city after the other person takes a wrong turn (even though it is clearly labelled on a giant sign in reflective paint), it would be really out of line for the driver to call her -- I mean, the person who knows how to read the map -- a mean name.

Generally speaking, of course.