UPDATED NOV. 4: Welcome! I seem to be getting a lot of hits to this page. There's a whole blog here, and most of it's not about domestic discipline. I'm not sure how you got here, but please feel free to look around.
I was surfing the Internet the other day and had the distinct pleasure (or not) of stumbling across a website for practitioners of "Christian Domestic Discipline" (CDD).
No, it's NOT a fetish site. It's for people who are sick and tired of finding nothing but porn every time they search the Interweb for information about wife-beating. I thought it was a parody site at first, especially when I saw they were selling crotchless bloomers, but apparently those are intended to make the beatings easier on the man. No need to wait for your wife to drop her underwear if she's wearing those!
I couldn't pull myself away. I kept reading in horror. You probably thought that hitting women was family violence, but boy oh boy, were you ever wrong. It's called "non-consensual CDD". These guys are against that. The wife has to submit to it freely, even if she's hurt or scared. You see, if the woman agrees to the beating, it's totally OK. Those other sickos who beat their wives without consent are the real problem.
There's even a list of frequently-asked questions for men. They include questions about whether women really need to be beaten to tears (Answer: Yes, because it humbles women), if it's good to listen to what women say (Answer: No, because women already have plenty of girlfriends to listen to them), and what to do if the beatings don't help the problem (Answer: Beat her again, of course!).
In the interest of transparency and all that Web 2.0 stuff, these guys have linked to blogs by women who are doing this. If I could figure out where they live, I would call the police to rescue them. This is truly awful stuff.
Lydia Russell is upset because some visitors to her site have offered help to get out of her abusive marriage. Others have told her she is going to hell. I have to say that this is probably not the best way to help a victim of family violence. If you go over there, please don't say anything like that to her.
Lydia and her husband have put a few rules in place:
- She can ask for a beating if she is feeling guilty about something.
- She has to ask for a beating every night before 9 pm.
- She cannot change her mind about getting beaten.
- If she does not ask for a beating, her husband will beat her anyway, and then she will be required to ask for two beatings the next day.
- She has to trust that he will beat her as hard as he thinks she needs it.
- Her husband will decide how much recovery time she gets after each beating. If she selfishly wants more time, she will get a second beating.
- She has to do what he asks her to do when he asks her to do it. Otherwise, you guessed it, she gets another beating.
- She does not want to be beaten. Just when she knows she needs it the most, she remembers how much it hurts.
- She does not always want to do what he tells her to do, and sometimes wants to wait a minute or so before she does it.
- Sometimes she wonders if he really needs to beat her as hard as he does. Other times she thinks she needs to be beaten harder.
- For a while, the beatings were just another part of the evening routine. She wants them to be more than that.
Debbie's blog also details beatings for the following misdemeanors:
- Burning a pan on the stove.
- Accidentally turning on the stove while cleaning her in-laws' house.
- "Disrespecting" her husband. I have no idea what that means.
A few readers have described their own weight-loss efforts and suggested that it might be easier if there were no beatings involved. They have experienced weeks of no weight loss, even when they have stayed on the diet. Debbie does not agree.
I think I might throw up. Both women have female readers who have left comments about their own need for beatings: Sometimes they forget to log off the computer! They don't set reminders on their cell phones! What, do you expect their husbands to just forgive them for mistakes? Then there's this gem from someone named Will: "Your husband is so lucky to have a wife who understands when she need discipline from his belt. My fiance has some understanding, too, but she is still far too outspoken. I will continue to be patient with her as I teach her to be submissive one spanking at a time."
UPDATED: More about CDD