My hair is like a flock of goats

(Somehow I remember that being a compliment. Perhaps there's a problem with the translation.)

I've been growing my hair out for almost a year. This has been a long ride, and my hair is still not even long enough to put in a ponytail. (I started with very short, spiky hair.)

Fortunately, my mom has introduced me to a website that can motivate me through the dark times. Call it the SELF Challenge for hair, except it's Clairol. I am guessing that they consider it a marketing tool, but really, it's just plain fun.

First, you need a photo of yourself. I don't take pictures of myself, so I pulled this screenshot off my latest vlog:
I'm not getting ready to kiss you; I'm in mid-sentence as usual.

As you can see, my current hair colour is pretty boring. Also, the style is not going to get me on Jay Leno any time soon. This is where Clairol can help. I can imagine myself as a redheaded porn star:
Hot diggity, this could be all I need to jump-start my career as a Hoffette! But there are other choices, too. For example, all-over hair colour is so 90s. Today's hair design is all about highlights and lowlights:
Until now, I've never seen the value of maintaining twelve different shades of red in my hair. But now Clairol has opened my eyes and shown me how truly hot I could be.

There's a lot at stake. If I don't maintain an age-appropriate number of colours in my hair, I might as well give in and get Newfoundland Mom Hair:
Yeah, I think we can all agree that that's not a great idea. But you know what I think MIGHT be coming back in style? Perms.
I actually did have hair like this when I was 13. (I was super hot.)